I kind of knew that this would be coming, I just hadn’t expected it to be this early. University is now consuming the majority of my life. And by consuming I mean basically eating it up without even chewing. The issue isn’t my official schedule of lectures or seminars, it’s my own personal schedule in between all those events, that is filled to the brim with studying, reading, practicing and summarizing chapters for hours and hours and still feeling it’s not enough. Nothing is unplanned anymore. Time is money and I can’t afford to loose any of it. Whenever I intend to actually have some free time I have to ask myself “have I really accomplished enough this week to allow myself this luxury? When can I squeeze in a couple of hours of work to make up for it so that I don’t feel that guilty?”. Ironically, enjoying free time like meeting friends keeps me away from studying, but without those highlights of my week, I wouldn’t be able to function at all.
I feel like I have been complaining in a lot of my recent posts. Not being the optimistic type is one of my weaknesses and I have always struggled with not letting my insecurities bring me down. There are days where I can laugh about it and brush it off and then there is days – like lately – where things just really get to me. If I had to describe myself I would say I am cheerful person with a lot of sadness and a really dark sense of humor. My moods come and go in waves, and I don’t know if that is ever going to change. I try my best to lift myself up as much as I can in that moment, and I am not gonna lie, a lot of times I fail miserably. But at the end of the day, good times replace the bad ones even if it’s just for a limited amount of time and the spiel starts all over again.
I don’t know what happened to the German summer, but apparently there is none. What we get is maximum three days of kind of good weather and then about 1 week of pouring rain and crazy humidity in return. The number one question when planning a shoot besides who is going to be the photographer is what is the weather is going to be like. It’s basically about finding that perfect time slot of the day where it is warm, but not too hot, obviously not rainy and ideally cloudy so that you can open your eyes and don’t have to fuss around with the camera settings too much. Luckily, for this one we were able to seize the last day of good conditions before it is back to a grey, unpredictable sky.