Since my last couple of posts have been kind of depressing and sad. My mood swings are real at the moment so I thought I should seize the opportunity to write when I am in a good mood before it goes downhill again. I have yet to find out what triggers my good ‘episodes’, all I know is that besides being sick (again) I feel kind of happy and optimistic for once. I wonder if anyone ever reads this or if it’s basically just me talking to myself like an idiot. Oh well, I guess it would probably better that way. Anyway, today’s shoot took place on a roof top around my neighborhood, probably one of my favorite places in the world. Up there you have an incredible view of the city without having to share it with anyone else. Once in while I go up there to watch the sun set and take pictures, which – btw if you would like to see them – are often posted on my Instagram later.
I am not the type of person to make a big deal out of their birthday. One, I don’t really like drawing the attention to myself and two, for some reason I tend to get sad on days where you’re actually expected to be happy or excited. The big 3, birthday, Christmas and New Year’s eve are always quite hard for me. So part of this will probably be written on the actual day of my birthday and when this goes up, I will have turned twenty. Twen-ty. The problem is not that I feel old, the problem is that I don’t feel ready. Time flies and I still don’t know what I am doing. I know that I don’t need to, even most people in their 30s don’t, it’s probably the standard that I am setting for myself and obviously can’t uphold. At least, my love for photography, fashion and being creative in my own way always cheers me up and make me forget whatever my ever so complicated mind is currently struggling with.
If you look at the posts that I have done over the year, you might notice that I prefer clean backgrounds or usually any type of urban situation. I am not a huge fan of anything that is too distracting, especially when there is some color going on that could potentially clash with my outfit. This is the reason why I have stayed away from any type of greenery in my photos, even when there is just a little bit of weed I either correct it later on when editing or I simply – believe it or not – rip it out. For today’s post I decided to ‘step out of my comfort zone’ and basically into the woods by going for an all green background. I thought with fall coming up it would match my thick suede coat and overall cozy vibes perfectly.
The day we shot this blog post’s photos wasn’t really a good day for me. My anxiety kept me up half of the night and then I ended up sleeping until 3 p.m and was still feeling super tired and exhausted after I had finally got up. I had actually been really excited to meet up with 2 of my closest friends, but I didn’t really manage to pull myself together. I felt like I was physically there, but not mentally. Trying my best to follow the conversation, my thoughts kept wandering off and I was feeling dizzy and kind of trapped in my own little bubble. I was hoping that eating would help (which it fortunately did), but prior, on our way to the table my coke slid off the tray that I was carrying. The good news were that I somehow managed to grab it last minute with minor spillage. However, in that movement my plate had started sliding as well, said goodbye and was basically flying off with Risotto spilling everywhere. Honestly, for a moment I was contemplating having a mental breakdown in the middle of the restaurant and it took me a lot to not start crying in front of everyone. Luckily, the staff was super nice and understanding and I got new food right away. Ironically, my coke pretty much survived this incident which was probably the reason that my Risotto didn’t.
I know, the title is a little bit extra. I just couldn’t think of anything better and since the peachy knit sweater I am wearing in the photos is partly made of cashmere I came up with this wordplay. Anyway, this piece is my latest and also last purchase of the month. The next season is around the corner and the shops already display their fall/winter collection, even though it is technically still too warm for all the knits and coats. But knowing German weather this could change in a heartbeat and I can already see myself hunting for a winter jacket because my 16 other ones are just not doing it for me anymore. You know how it goes. Until then, I need to save my money for one last vacation this year. My mother and I are going to Cyprus and I can’t wait to be back at the beach before Uni starts in October.
I don’t know what happened to the German summer, but apparently there is none. What we get is maximum three days of kind of good weather and then about 1 week of pouring rain and crazy humidity in return. The number one question when planning a shoot besides who is going to be the photographer is what is the weather is going to be like. It’s basically about finding that perfect time slot of the day where it is warm, but not too hot, obviously not rainy and ideally cloudy so that you can open your eyes and don’t have to fuss around with the camera settings too much. Luckily, for this one we were able to seize the last day of good conditions before it is back to a grey, unpredictable sky.
I have never considered myself a sporty or athletic person until it sort of just happened. I was never really the kid to be all active, playing sports, running around and stuff. More like the reading, drawing, “please don’t make me catch things because I probably wont’t” type of girl. And I have always hated running, which is something that hasn’t changed at all. The only time you’ll see me run is probably for my life or out of money. But what has miraculously changed is that I actually found a sport that I enjoy. I have been kickboxing for about 5 years now and I still train at least 2 times a week. Whenever I tell this someone I am still astonished by how fast time flies and the fact that my lazy ass managed to pull through. Even though I sometimes have to force myself to get ready and leave my bed, I am always disappointed when for some reason I can’t make it to practice. Which just goes to show that everyone can find joy in exercise, you just actually have to give it a chance and find your thing.
Rihanna is one of the view artists that I have been listening to since I was basically ten. I am not ashamed to admit that I probably know all of her songs from her baby days to the savage she has become. There is just something about her besides her obvious beauty and the fact that she doesn’t seem to age at all. Just the way she doesn’t care about anyone’s opinion and always does what she wants is truly inspiring and makes her an icon of our time. She is not afraid of taking risks and still slays the game whether it’s fashion, music, acting or her own make up brand that is soon to be launched. I should probably stop right here before this turns into an open love letter, I think you get the point. So two weeks ago, my friends and I planned a night out – shocking, sometimes even I leave my house – and of course I was fully dedicated to finding a cool outfit. While digging through my closet I found this black over sized faux fur coat that I actually had wanted to sell, but never got around to do so. However, looking at it I just realized that this was actually a pretty bad ass piece and – now everything makes sense – something I could picture Rihanna wearing. Long story short, I have fallen completely back in love and decided to style it in this post, which is btw the exact look I wore out minus the shades.