I kind of knew that this would be coming, I just hadn’t expected it to be this early. University is now consuming the majority of my life. And by consuming I mean basically eating it up without even chewing. The issue isn’t my official schedule of lectures or seminars, it’s my own personal schedule in between all those events, that is filled to the brim with studying, reading, practicing and summarizing chapters for hours and hours and still feeling it’s not enough. Nothing is unplanned anymore. Time is money and I can’t afford to loose any of it. Whenever I intend to actually have some free time I have to ask myself “have I really accomplished enough this week to allow myself this luxury? When can I squeeze in a couple of hours of work to make up for it so that I don’t feel that guilty?”. Ironically, enjoying free time like meeting friends keeps me away from studying, but without those highlights of my week, I wouldn’t be able to function at all.
Since my last couple of posts have been kind of depressing and sad. My mood swings are real at the moment so I thought I should seize the opportunity to write when I am in a good mood before it goes downhill again. I have yet to find out what triggers my good ‘episodes’, all I know is that besides being sick (again) I feel kind of happy and optimistic for once. I wonder if anyone ever reads this or if it’s basically just me talking to myself like an idiot. Oh well, I guess it would probably better that way. Anyway, today’s shoot took place on a roof top around my neighborhood, probably one of my favorite places in the world. Up there you have an incredible view of the city without having to share it with anyone else. Once in while I go up there to watch the sun set and take pictures, which – btw if you would like to see them – are often posted on my Instagram later.
I feel like I have been complaining in a lot of my recent posts. Not being the optimistic type is one of my weaknesses and I have always struggled with not letting my insecurities bring me down. There are days where I can laugh about it and brush it off and then there is days – like lately – where things just really get to me. If I had to describe myself I would say I am cheerful person with a lot of sadness and a really dark sense of humor. My moods come and go in waves, and I don’t know if that is ever going to change. I try my best to lift myself up as much as I can in that moment, and I am not gonna lie, a lot of times I fail miserably. But at the end of the day, good times replace the bad ones even if it’s just for a limited amount of time and the spiel starts all over again.
I am not the type of person to make a big deal out of their birthday. One, I don’t really like drawing the attention to myself and two, for some reason I tend to get sad on days where you’re actually expected to be happy or excited. The big 3, birthday, Christmas and New Year’s eve are always quite hard for me. So part of this will probably be written on the actual day of my birthday and when this goes up, I will have turned twenty. Twen-ty. The problem is not that I feel old, the problem is that I don’t feel ready. Time flies and I still don’t know what I am doing. I know that I don’t need to, even most people in their 30s don’t, it’s probably the standard that I am setting for myself and obviously can’t uphold. At least, my love for photography, fashion and being creative in my own way always cheers me up and make me forget whatever my ever so complicated mind is currently struggling with.
Fall has finally took over the place of the last bit of summer we had left. Summer wasn’t really being summer anyway lately, consisting of warm temperatures and a lot of rain. So I am quite glad to finally cozy up in my knits and coats and – yes, you guessed it – stock up on some fall and colder weather appropriate clothes. I already found the perfect pair of black leather boots from Zara which you can see me styling here and a super warm yet fashionable puffer jacket that I am probably going to feature in one of my upcoming posts. Since the day of this shoot was quite sunny and warm, I was able to get away with wearing this pastel yellow tee and those cat eye shades that I have been obsessed with recently and remind me of the 90’s even though I am not really sure, if that was really a 90’s thing.
As much as I love being blonde the downside to it is that you inevitably have to pay a visit to your hairdresser at least every couple of months. The last time I went was in April and I was procrastinating quite some time before I eventually booked another appointment. Don’t get me wrong, I love being pampered and getting my hair done, it’s just the price you have to pay for good service. I additionally got the ends trimmed as well and ended up paying 140 € for everything. Nevertheless, I am really, really happy with the result and I think nothing feels as good as leaving the salon with fresh new hair. Quick side story – a few days ago some girls at work told me that I look like Hannah Montana and I realized that she and I are not the only ones sharing the same hairstyle. There is 2000’s Lady Gaga, Gwen Stefani, Heidi Klum and lately also Charlize Theron in Atomic Blonde, a movie that I still need to watch, but at least I remembered the hairstyle.
So after quite some time I am back with another fashion post featuring some of the stuff that I have bought over the last couple of weeks. To be honest, styling thigh high boots is harder than I expected. When done wrong you can quickly look like a hooker or as if you are
Bodysuits have been on trend for quite some time now and I think there is no shop that doesn’t offer them in some sort of way. It’s probably because they are the ultimate tucked in shirt. No need of making sure it