Since my last couple of posts have been kind of depressing and sad. My mood swings are real at the moment so I thought I should seize the opportunity to write when I am in a good mood before it goes downhill again. I have yet to find out what triggers my good ‘episodes’, all I know is that besides being sick (again) I feel kind of happy and optimistic for once. I wonder if anyone ever reads this or if it’s basically just me talking to myself like an idiot. Oh well, I guess it would probably better that way. Anyway, today’s shoot took place on a roof top around my neighborhood, probably one of my favorite places in the world. Up there you have an incredible view of the city without having to share it with anyone else. Once in while I go up there to watch the sun set and take pictures, which – btw if you would like to see them – are often posted on my Instagram later.
I feel like I have been complaining in a lot of my recent posts. Not being the optimistic type is one of my weaknesses and I have always struggled with not letting my insecurities bring me down. There are days where I can laugh about it and brush it off and then there is days – like lately – where things just really get to me. If I had to describe myself I would say I am cheerful person with a lot of sadness and a really dark sense of humor. My moods come and go in waves, and I don’t know if that is ever going to change. I try my best to lift myself up as much as I can in that moment, and I am not gonna lie, a lot of times I fail miserably. But at the end of the day, good times replace the bad ones even if it’s just for a limited amount of time and the spiel starts all over again.
I am not the type of person to make a big deal out of their birthday. One, I don’t really like drawing the attention to myself and two, for some reason I tend to get sad on days where you’re actually expected to be happy or excited. The big 3, birthday, Christmas and New Year’s eve are always quite hard for me. So part of this will probably be written on the actual day of my birthday and when this goes up, I will have turned twenty. Twen-ty. The problem is not that I feel old, the problem is that I don’t feel ready. Time flies and I still don’t know what I am doing. I know that I don’t need to, even most people in their 30s don’t, it’s probably the standard that I am setting for myself and obviously can’t uphold. At least, my love for photography, fashion and being creative in my own way always cheers me up and make me forget whatever my ever so complicated mind is currently struggling with.
I don’t really know what I was exactly expecting from Uni. Maybe less chaos, less people, less ‘I don’t know what I’m doing, help’. To be honest, over the past two months I have been trying to push any thoughts of the future aside which kind of works out until you realize that just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it isn’t there. So I have also been making good use of my second trusty coping mechanism. I am not proud of it, but it’s been a while since I have bought as much as I do now. The bad thing is that I don’t even do planned shopping trips anymore. Since I work basically in the shopping area in my town, I happen to pop in and out of stores quite frequently ‘just to have a look’. ‘Just having a look’ quickly turns to ‘just trying it on for fun’ to ‘nothing haunts you more than things you didn’t buy’ to ‘I’ll pay by card’. On the brighter side of things, I have accumulated enough props for the upcoming 20 posts, woohoo.
If you look at the posts that I have done over the year, you might notice that I prefer clean backgrounds or usually any type of urban situation. I am not a huge fan of anything that is too distracting, especially when there is some color going on that could potentially clash with my outfit. This is the reason why I have stayed away from any type of greenery in my photos, even when there is just a little bit of weed I either correct it later on when editing or I simply – believe it or not – rip it out. For today’s post I decided to ‘step out of my comfort zone’ and basically into the woods by going for an all green background. I thought with fall coming up it would match my thick suede coat and overall cozy vibes perfectly.
I don’t know what happened to the German summer, but apparently there is none. What we get is maximum three days of kind of good weather and then about 1 week of pouring rain and crazy humidity in return. The number one question when planning a shoot besides who is going to be the photographer is what is the weather is going to be like. It’s basically about finding that perfect time slot of the day where it is warm, but not too hot, obviously not rainy and ideally cloudy so that you can open your eyes and don’t have to fuss around with the camera settings too much. Luckily, for this one we were able to seize the last day of good conditions before it is back to a grey, unpredictable sky.
Since the last post’s outfits have been rather on the casual side, I wanted to do something more chique for this one. I find the easiest way to make it seem as if you have put a lot of effort in your styling is throwing on a nice summer dress. It’s probably because people associate them with special occasions when in reality you don’t even have to worry about matching the top to the bottom half of your body. For some reason I used to hate dresses when I was younger, but reorganizing my closet I realized I have accumulated quite a collection over the past years. However, this pinstriped baby blue piece from Zara is new to my wardrobe and I am completely in love with it. I decided to pair it with my biker boots from Pull & Bear to make it a little more edgy and everyday appropriate. But I can also see myself wearing this with white sneakers or even high heels for the ultimate dress up. The possibilities are endless.
Sorry for being M.I.A. for the last few weeks. This was definitely not intended since I had planned to upload at least once a week. But somehow whenever I try to plan things everything turns out to be different anyway. First, the weather wasn’t cooperating at all and it was still raining and freezing in April. Then, scheduling an ‘appointment’ was not easy either. I got a lot of free time on my hand for possible shoots, but taking photos of me by myself doesn’t really work. Finally, we were able to not only find a free day, but also one with perfect weather conditions. I was super stoked to see how the new camera lens I bought would perform and it didn’t disappoint. It was recommended to me by two photographers I met on Bali and is 100 % worth the investment. I look forward to playing around with it and see its full potential.
I had had this outfit post planned out in my head for quite some time until I finally got around to do it. Faux fur and those ‘diamond’ chokers that to be honest kind of look like dog collars have been trending lately and I completely jumped on the band wagon. I feel like especially the big and colorful fur coats really